Calm the Body, Calm the Mind

Ever have one of those days when your body says “Nope, we’re done here” The kind of day where you feel sick, your head’s heavy, your brain’s foggy and you’re so cold, you just can’t get warm, no matter how many jumpers and blankets you put on? Yup. I get it. That’s your body saying STOP. And if you don’t listen, it’ll make you. Today, we’re talking about that moment - the running on empty, holding everyone else up, ignoring your own body moment, and how to press pause before you crash._________________Welcome back to the Teen Whisperer - the podcast for mums of girls - tweens, teens and young women, who are trying their best to figure out this whole teenager thing, without completely losing the plot.  I’m Rach Friedli and I help mums of girls who are seen as too much, too sensitive or like they just don’t fit in, uncover what’s really behind the behaviour, so you can stop second guessing, rebuild confidence and truly connect again._______________ And if you listened last week, we talked about grief - that invisible load that doesn’t automatically go away after the death.  The world expects you to bounce back, to keep going. But the to do lists, the running people about, the endless emails and phone calls to sort everything, leave you running on empty. And at some point, your body goes “no more, I can’t do this any more” I know that moment all too well. Today, actually, my body’s saying “NO WAY”  I feel sick. My head is heavy. Me eyes are tired. my brain feels fuddled. And I’m freezing - that deep, bone numbing cold tiredness that goes right through you. I ache every where and feel like I’ve been run over by an HGV. If I just gnored it and just pushed through as society, culture and the patriarchy tell us to, my body would shut down completely.  It’s done it before. Nearly two years ago, I had my life changing accident - the kind that forces you to stop.  That was my body’s ultimate “I told you so” and so did my daughter..  In the morning I remember a conversation with her where she asked me what i had to do that week and I told her. Her reply ‘that’s a lot on your plate, mum’ well by 4pm that afternoon, I had nothing, nada, zilch, nowt on said plate.  So now, when my body whispers, I listen. Because I’ve learnt the hard way -  If you don’t listen to what it is telling you, your body will find a way to make you STOP. Nearly two years on, I still do my rehab every single day. Without it, I’d be in way more pain and `i still listen to what my body is saying  ___________________This is where my 60 sec reset comes in, so you don’t have to go to the lengths I did, before I understood.  It’s not about fixing your life. It’s about listening - right now - before everything unravels. Here’s what to do when you find yourself tipping over the edge; when you feel that all consuming tiredness and the thoughts of wanting to get over the conveyor belt, merry go round, ever revolving hamster wheel - call it what you will. Step 1 - Pause Stop mid scroll, mid email, mid sentence, mid thought. Just stop Step 2 - Breathe In through your nose. out through your mouth. This brings your vagus nerve online to take you from aargh to ahh Do this at least 3 times. Feel your shoulders drop. Feel your jaw soften. Step 3 - Connect Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? Not what am I thinking - what am I feeling? And what do I need?  Sometimes the answer is simple - a cup of tea  Sometimes it’s a cry especially after any type of loss - death, life, future, job etc and other times it might be rest, time out, food, drink, a walk in nature, a duvet day… That’s proper self care, Not the fluffy instagram kind - the real kind. The kind where you choose rest before your body forces it on you.  ______________ We’ve been taught, especially as women to push through.  To ignore our feelings. To keep going until we break. But that script is broken. The real power - the real healing - comes from listening to what your body is saying. When you start tuning in, you notice the messages earlier. The tight chest. The pain in your neck (literally). The racing thoughts. They’re not problems to ignore, they’re information from your body. Listening to them is the game changer. It’s what stops us exploding at the people we love the most. And it’s what we need to model for our girls. _______________ Because here’s the truth - our girls are watching. If they see us running around like headless chickens, never slowing down, never resting - what do they learn? They learn that self care is optional.  That exhaustion is normal. That love means self-sacrifice. But If they see us pause… breathe… rest If they see us choosing a duvet day instead of powering through.. They learn something completely different. They learn their body deserves respect. That their feelings matter. That rest isn’t lazy (as we are made to feel again and again) It’s wise and it nourishes your every cell. So mirror what you want to see in her. If you want your daughter to care for herself, start with you.  Parenting isn’t just about how we parent our daughters, it’s also about how you parent yourself. Do the stuff that makes you feel good, that makes you feel loved and appreciated by yourself. Because when you fill your own cup, you’re teaching her how to fill hers. Put it a different way - if your tech is running out of battery, do you plug it in? Same goes for your car - if it’s running out of power, do you fill it up? So what’s the difference? If you do this for your necessities, you are one too. Give yourself the same care and attention.  __________________So today, my plan is simple. I’m taking it easy. I’m sitting here recording this wrapped up in a heated blanket. I’m listening to what my body and giving it what it needs. And I want you to do the same. Even if it’s just for 60 seconds  Feet on the floor. Breathe in. Breathe out. Ask: what do I need right now? That’s the 60 sec reset. It’s not about changing your life in th now in the future. It’s about helping yourself in this moment. You’re not broken. You’re just tired - bone numbingly tired. And tired doesn’t need fixing - it needs care, your care. ____________________ If this episode landed with you, please hit subscribe so you don’t miss the next one. And share it with your mum friends especially the ones who’ve been holding it all together lately. She needs this reminder too. Don’t forget to grab your free 60 sec reset - it’s for moments just like these - it’s your quick, in the moment survival tool for when everything feels like too much free and in the show notes. Like what you hear? Wanna dive deeper into this topic - and loads more just like it? Then check out my WTF membership - it’s for mums going through the same shizz as you.  It’s a safe space to be open and honest about what’s really going on in your life  - no judgement, no pretending, no retribution - just real talk, support and tools that actually help.  You’ll find the link in the show notes Because remember - It’s physiology before psychology. Always.

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